An Appeal to the American People

Hello. My name is Felipe and I am here with an urgent appeal to the American people. For the past 31 years, Peter Mangiaracina has lived in Spain, eating Spanish food, having sex with Spanish women, and repeatedly emptying his bladder on or near the tomb of the great dictator Generalissimo Francisco Franco.

Enough is enough, and we want him out, him and his ridiculous Cocker Spaniel “TJ.”

But we are not a rich country. We need your help to buy him a cheap ticket back to his birthplace on an oil freighter or a garbage scow. Please donate one dollar, ten dollars — whatever you can — and mail it to:

Go Home Yankee Swine

1723 Concejal Domingo Torres de los Ríos Rodríguez Obispo Canalejas de la Mancha Garcia Deppa Pérez Luz De Dios Street

Las Palmas de Gran Canaria,

LAS PALMAS Province

Spain 35001

(Sorry about the Street name, but surnames are limited in Spain, so we have to use five generations on our mother’s side to identify ourselves).

You will be doing a great service to The Canary Islands, Spain and the European Union. Thank you for your support.